Great Ending

Moms card here I did come! Lol

Not really. Mom and I went shopping and we did 7 shops in an hour and ate sushi and cheesecake the other hour. Don't mess with us! Debrief was actually helpful to me today. It talked about expectations and how the only expectation you should really have is the one for Christ. When all the let downs happen to your expectations, then you should know that those thing happen for reasons we don't understand but it will all be ok with Christ. Very Profound. :)

Side note---Chris looks like my buddy Mike from Cincinnati and it is really freaking me out. Like mannerism, laughs and looks. Creeping me out. Seriously.

So Far So Good

Totally have been exhausted the last couple days and haven't updated the world on Berlin. Friday was a fun day. After we sat through the tiring morning of "lecture" we got out kid assignments and went to the school to decorate. FINALLY things are starting to look like what I signed up for. No more evangelistic outlooks. Our room will be so much fun! I am paired with a girl named Laura and she is an early childhood education major and we have two kids to tutor. Why they stuck the preschool teacher and the early education major together I will never know! I think our smart thoughts should be separated! But since they are not, we will have the most fun group in the place! Everyone will want to be in our tutor group! Anyways, after we went to the school we went to the Berlin wall. It was actually fun. Well maybe fun isn't the right word. It was very rewarding. I was able to see where the wall ran and parts of the actual wall. There was a memorial set up in the middle of the no mans land that had wall parts, memorial for the people who died and models showing where everything had once been.

So call it the stupid internet connection here at the hotel but I now am FINALLY able to finish my last post. The Berlin wall, breath taking. So much history to learn and not so much time.

On Saturday we went to Whittenberg. There we say the church where Martin Luther preached

and is laid to rest. We rode trains to get to and from, which was a neat experience since I haven't

done that since France. While we were there, it was SO hot. Actually it has been incredibly hot for the whole time! It was 100 degrees today! Unbelievable. But the problem was that no one would give us ice. Culturally they don't use ice because it is actually bad for you. You know

those Germans doing everything the healthy way,

except for the whole drinking and smoking thing :) While in the museum/house of Martin Luther mom and I came across two enclosed rooms full of books.

Old books that no one can touch because they are so fragile and valuable. What I would give to be in there, looking at them. Man oh man. That night I was really wanting to watch Germany play in the World Cup for 3rd place but we had been in the sun all day and I was exhausted. It seems to be the trend. I have been more tired than I would normally be in the states, AND I am getting at least 10 hours of sleep a night. Crazy stuff.

Sunday was fun. We took a 30 min ride to a church in West Berlin. That was neat because I was able to see how their churches were set up. Sermon was long and the translating ear phones hurt, plus it was sooooo hot. Don't the Germans believe in air conditioning? This is insane! After the wonderful 5 hours of free time, we went and had dinner at the Elmericks house. It was so nice of them to open their home. Their kids are just so cute! We had fellowship, debrief and of course yummy food. I stayed up late however because I wanted to finish my book, The Last Song. It hit home too close. Made me cry, but so did the movie.

Today was a good day. We started English Camp!!! The whole reason I am here. And of course I would get a challenging student. She wasn't really wanting to participate but I think all and all out tutor session went well with both our kids. However, downfall of life. So many stairs!! I am so tired of walking and going up and down stairs. I better be losing some weight! I haven't had any fried foods or beer either! :( Hopefully it will help kick start my body into shape!

Tonight we are going shopping! Moms credit card here I come! lol just kidding. Or am I??

Has it gotten better?

Lets just say that I am here to do Gods work. Not preach Gods will and way. I am his hands and feet, not his voice. I guess this is where the missionaries and I don't see eye to eye. I have learned today that though I would love to be a missionary, there would have to be some stipulations. For one being that I will not be preaching and spreading evangelism. I will be his hands, doing the work he is not able to. Leading by example and showing love through my actions will be how I will lead people to Christ. Well maybe there isn't really a place for me to mission out there and maybe I am in the right major and international social work is my real calling I don't really know.

Today was an interesting day to say the least. We started off in workshop, which could have been fun except it was like school. We were learning about culture. Not just the German culture but also reflecting upon our culture back home. What is my culture? What have I taken from my culture and what have I left behind? I truly believe that you must be open to differenced in order to be culturally competent.

After the fun filled day of lessons and crafts, we had some free time! Mom and I ventured out on our own and went shopping. On her credit card! That I don't have to pay back! :) I love vacationing with her! She doesn't know where there is an H&M in Ohio so she was excited for me. (We won't tell her there is one in Kenwood). After dinner out in a cafe, we went on this prayer walk. There isn't much I can say about it except it was truly weird and I don't want to ever do it again. I believe that God sees the things happening in the world and he needs us to do something about it not walk around and pray on it. He gave us two feet to work, not sit.

But the room is sleeping and it is dark and I am loud. Tata for now! (Germany 1 Africa 3) :)

We have arrived

The time has come! We are in Berlin! After a long flight with NO personal TV (Germany 0 Africa 1) we finally arrived in Berlin. Honestly it wasn't as bad as I thought except that I really wished we knew the language. Just the simple things like "Thank you", "excuse me" and "please". Because of our jetlag I look a 2 hour nap which turned out to be worse for me in the end. I was sooo exhausted after the nap, I thought it was cold outside and not sunny so I left my glasses in the room. All of those things were false. Needless to say, it was a really rough 5 hour workshop today of learning the metro, history of the organization and seeing not experiencing the city. (Germany 0 Africa 2). Another thing is we received our schedules today, it is so structured. I am barely going to be able to shop at all. It is a bummer. Not as laid back. Again, Germany 0 Africa 3.

I am pissed, excuse my language, but the fact that Germany is playing Spain in the world cup today and I am so tired that I need to sleep makes me so mad. They are all partying right now but if I don't get sleep, tomorrow will be just like today and I don't want that. So everyone cheer for Germany! That way I can watch it on Sunday!! GO GERMANY!!

That is all for now. Talk to you all tomorrow! Lets hope God gives me the strength to not kill the members of my group and begin to enjoy Germany. It has some catching up to do.

Think about it

FINALLY JUNE!

So it is finally June, actually it is almost July! Time for Germany! I can not wait! Life is starting to look up. I have just finished my first week at the Daycare, camp teachers Sparkle and Spaz are back for the 2nd year in a row! This will be a short entry, lots to do, but Life couldn't be better right now. I will write more later, 14 days til I leave for Germany! Then I will be touching someones life everyday! I can't wait!!!!

Is it June yet???

I do not want to have a pity party for myself in any way, but this year has absolutely sucked. Like, I am doing things that I have never done before. It is like I am lost and I can't find my way. Today I did the same unthinking thing I did 2 months ago, now, I don't think I have a job on the weekends. Shame on me once, I got a second chance and ruined it. I DON'T DO THAT! That is not me. I will honestly say, that I told my friends NO last night and didn't go out drinking and I checked my alarms 5 times, yet they still didn't go off. I don't know if it is the year or my charlie brown cloud, but this past week I have had to deal with 2 flat tires. The first flat was on Thursday morning. Thank goodness, I was able to use my moms car, but when I called AAA to change my tire, the fat ass was too lazy so he just filled it back with air. Luckily it worked until I got to USA tire. Then Friday, 11 hours after I got my car from the tire place, I got another flat tire. This time however I had 4 drunk guys change it, and THANK the LORD I got home safely without it falling off! So that has just been my week.

NOW, today. I didn't know what to do. I went and got gas and then just drove. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I ended up at church. Two things about that. The how service was centered on spreading love, just like my first post said. It is awesome to share your faith and journey with people, but if you are kind, caring and nice to others, they will ask you about it. Then you can get into the whole God and Jesus thing. But you must show the quote "holy spirit". It was very enlightening. I even cried during the prayer because the pastor said something about asking for forgiveness for our sins, and asking for prayers of others that need prayers. I still don't know why I was supposed to be there, but I know that was where I was supposed to be this morning, not at work. It sucks, and I feel awful. I was irresponsible about missing work, but I think I was in the right place. The second thing that happened at church was I received old pictures from when I was in the 7th grade from a lockin I went to. It was the lockin I got my first "kiss" at while my friend Brian was hiding behind the couch and we were supposed to be playing underground church. Instead we would "play" but then go to the nursery and play truth or dare (in the dark mind you). I was dying. These pictures are priceless and AMAZING! It gave me a little chuckle today.

I know my life is not over, but I just feel like everything is crashing on me. School is not going well....at all. I am barely passing any of my classes. Things are popping up with ex friends that are just bringing me down. Part of me is saying to break ties with anyone who is associated with them, but that would include members of my family and someone of my best friends. I can't do that, plus she would win and I CAN'T have that. :) I will ALWAYS win.

My parents party went amazing! The end was not so good, I was a bitch to my family and kicked them out of my hotel room when they woke me up because they jumped on me and were smoking ($250 fine--ah hell no). Yes they shouldn't have done that but I went a little psycho. I admit it. But, the party... dang son, I should be a wedding planner. It was great! Everyone had a great time and mom and dad will remember it forever. Realization--I need a wedding planner because I will be a Bridezilla if things do not go as planned, psycho switch will be flipped. :)

I went to my friend Elaine's wedding. She was so beautiful! Her and her new husband are adorable together. I wish them all the happiness in the world. It was a hard realization though, graduating with her and now seeing her get married, that could be me anytime. I am not ready for that. In the words of my friend Sarah, "I am selfish to be married right now, I like not sharing" :). Great quote. It is very interesting because all my friends are either getting married or having children while I am taking victory laps through college. YAY 6 year plan! lol

Finally booked Germany tickets, we are not going to Paris before :( bummer. BUT we are going so that is a plus. I think that is all for now. I am trying to be positive and I will continue to strive for success and greatness. Making a difference is still my main priority. Oh but instead of a song quote I will be quoting a whole song. This is my new outlook on petty people and different drama filled situations in my life. It is also my feelings about trying to break out of my charlie brown cycle. I feel trapped inside a world sometimes that isn't mine. Because my world is bigger than these problems. Only when you take responsibility for your actions will you truly enter your world. It is by 3 doors down and it is called My World.


"My World"

Your stuck on a chain
And your toeing a lie
Seems like everytime that you catch up
You only fall behind

And your trapped inside this world you made yourself
But that's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
That's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me

There is always someone to blame
For the things you do yourself
You think that everything that's going wrong
Is because of someone else

And your trapped inside this world you made yourself
That's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
It's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me [2x]

Cause I'm on the outside and I'm looking in

And that's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
It's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me...